Rethinking Marriage in Muslim Society: A Call for Deeper Purpose and Responsibility

🕌 Introduction: A Misunderstood Milestone

Marriage is often treated as a social event rather than a sacred, lifelong commitment. In most Muslim households, “wedding preparations” refer to buying clothes, booking venues, and preparing lavish meals—while completely ignoring emotional readiness, relationship skills, or the true purpose of this divine contract.

💡 Understanding the Real Purpose of Marriage

According to Islamic wisdom, marriage is not merely a formality—it’s a divine framework designed to:

• Fulfill psychological and emotional needs
• Build companionship in a halal and spiritually meaningful way
• Enable the obedience of Allah through mutual support
• Create the foundational unit of a morally upright society

👫 Our Misplaced Priorities in Marital Preparations

What society often considers:

• Shopping, makeup, clothing, jewelry
• House décor and social events

What it should involve:

• Understanding Quranic guidance (e.g., Surah Nisa, Surah Noor)
• Learning conflict resolution, empathy, and emotional intelligence
• Awareness of rights and responsibilities post-Nikah

🧠 Marriage Is a Framework for Personal Growth

The speaker emphasizes how true emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth happens within the marriage bond—not outside it. Marriage allows:

• A man and woman to complete each other
• Learning patience, empathy, and sacrifice
• A divine platform to fulfill natural needs with dignity

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Why Society Needs Strong Marriages

• Families created through marriage instill responsibility, selflessness, and moral conduct
• Marriage provides the structure for child upbringing with care and faith
• A society that ignores marriage fosters corruption, selfishness, and emotional detachment

👨‍⚖️ Core Responsibilities in Marriage

For the Husband:

• Respect and protect the wife’s dignity
• Fulfill her tangible and intangible needs (love, attention, financial, emotional)
• Maintain emotional and spiritual security in the home

For the Wife:

• Reorder relationships: After marriage, she is first a wife, then a mother, then everything else
• Follow her husband with love, not compulsion
• Maintain confidentiality and protect marital boundaries

🔍 Benchmark Questions for Husbands and Wives

For Husbands:

1. Who is your best friend? (Should be your wife)
2. Who is the most beautiful woman? (Should be your wife)

For Wives:

1. Who do you trust most in the world? (Should be your husband)
2. Who are your top mentors? (Husband should be among them)

These questions help assess the health of the relationship and indicate the direction it’s heading.

💔 Common Pitfalls in Muslim Marriages

• Living by legalistic rights instead of emotional intelligence
• Joint family politics, particularly harmful in-laws, and unresolved tension
• Disrespecting the wife’s effort in unpaid, unrecognized labor (e.g., cooking, childcare)
• Losing the balance between career and family, especially among educated couples

🧭 The Principle of Order in Relationships

Misalignment in relationship priorities leads to marital breakdown. Every spouse must ask:

• Am I prioritizing my spouse over my children, job, or extended family?
• Is my spouse my safe space?
• Have I understood my religious role in marriage?

✅ Conclusion: Toward a Spiritually Fulfilling Marriage

Marriage is not a mere social norm—it is a divine commitment rooted in love, compassion, responsibility, and mutual spiritual growth. The transformation begins when:

• We understand its real purpose
• We prepare emotionally and spiritually
• We live with gratitude and empathy—not entitlement

🕊️ Let’s reclaim the beauty and sanctity of marriage in our Muslim homes.

Note: This Article Draws Inspiration from the Lecture Below.

Rana Jee

Rana Jee is a passionate community leader, counselor, and advocate based in Mississauga, Ontario. With a strong background in family and marriage counseling, he has dedicated his life to helping individuals and families build stronger, more compassionate relationships rooted in faith and understanding.
Rana’s work extends beyond the counseling room. He actively engages in community development through educational workshops, marriage preparation sessions, and youth mentorship programs. His efforts aim to bridge generational gaps and strengthen the social fabric of the Muslim community in North America.
In addition to counseling, Rana is deeply involved in charitable work, supporting causes that uplift underserved families, newly arrived immigrants, and individuals seeking emotional and spiritual guidance. His ability to connect with people from all walks of life makes him a trusted voice in both personal and communal matters.
Whether guiding couples through marriage challenges or empowering individuals with life tools, Rana Khan remains committed to nurturing healthier, faith-centered communities—one family at a time.